It is fairly common knowledge that there are milk banks that sell human breastmilk. The milk is tested, pasteurized and sold for $3-5 per ounce. This milk is usually reserved for preemie babies but sometimes others in need of breastmilk can purchase it. I have not attempted to purchase milk from any of the 11 milk banks in the United States. My baby was far from being a preemie and has no medical condition that would make him "needy," and I'm pretty sure IGT is not in the needy category. Not to mention we could not afford the average cost of $3600 per month to feed him breastmilk exclusively ($4/ounce at approx 30 ounces per day for 30 days).
Fortunately, we have found almost 20 women who have been willing to donate milk to us, 7 of them have been repeat donors. When I find a donor who is a good match for us there is usually not any discussion of money. These women very graciously give us their milk and ask nothing in return. I have offered to provide storage bags for our regular donors and cash to those who go out of their way to meet me to help pay for gas. Some take me up on the offers, others don't. Along with providing those things I am willing to pay for replacement parts on pumps for our regular donors. I am willing to meet them where it is convenient for them. I am willing to drive hundreds of miles to pick up milk. I am not willing to buy milk so that others make profit from milk that freely runs through the human body. I am willing to meet the needs of our donors within reason, but I do not believe in selling breastmilk for profit.
Over the past week I have come across two women offering to sell, not donate, their milk. The reason is simple - they need money. They have something someone needs and it didn't cost them anything to make it. BING! Instant profit. One woman said she would require $1 per ounce to cover the cost of storage bags. Let me show you how that request is absurd. A 25 pack of Lansinoh bags is $5.99 at my local grocery store. So if there are 300 ounces stored 6 ounces per bag with 50 bags then the cost paid for bags was approximately $12, yet for 300 ounces she would be asking for $300. That is not a donation, and it does not help my family feed our baby. That is taking advantage of someone's need to make a huge overhead profit.
Someone suggested that not paying for the milk shows lack of appreciation. This...this is a sad way of thinking. Each one of our donors is near and dear to my heart. I have become friends with many of them, and I would go to the end of the Earth for them. They have fed my baby the best, most normal milk - human milk for my human baby. They have done it out of the pure goodness of their heart. If any of them had a need then I would do everything I could to be there for them. I wish I could fill their homes with flowers all year round. I wish I could throw them a huge party, bigger than the royal wedding, and have all of our families together in celebration of them. I wish I could fill them with joy every day of their lives because this is what they have done for me.
The exchange of money between recipient and donor is completely between the two of them. If a recipient is okay with buying milk then that is their choice. However, I do not support the selling of breastmilk and that is my choice. I value the relationship and love I have for my donors, and I am thankful they do not require a price tag to acquire that relationship.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
To Burn or Not to Burn
Preparing a bottle with breastmilk that is frozen or partially frozen takes skill because it is so easy to spill. Over the past five months I have spilled a good bit of milk. Every time some misses the bottle I get a little jolt in my stomach and think, "Damn...wasted gold." Spilling isn't the only way to waste milk. I've left it out on the counter too long, made it too hot, too cold (which isn't actually wasteful but it is a pain in the rear), and I've not closed the zip all the way so when I put it back in the refrigerator it tips over and spills everywhere.
Today I had the biggest spill ever (12 ounces!), and I was determined not to waste it. I had already used milk from this bag once, but it was still mostly frozen. I needed to thaw it quickly and had a pot of scalding hot water ready. I remembered there was a hole in the bottom of the bag (which happens surprisingly often) and needed to put it in upside down. What I didn't remember was I had already started to open the bag and did not fully close it. I remembered this important bit of information just as I started turned the bag upside down, but it was too late. The entire block of icy milk fell into the scorching hot water.
I gasped. I was faced with a decision - to burn my hand or not to burn my hand. I knew I had to act quickly before it all melted into the water. I tossed it over in my mind a dozen times in a matter of seconds - do I save it or accept defeat...NEVER! In my head I chanted, "It will only hurt for a second. I will only hurt for a second. Just do it. Do it. DO IT!" I took a deep breath and dove my hand into the water, grabbed the block of milk as quickly as possible and dropped it into a bowl.
As soon as I dropped the milk into the bowl I ran cold water over my hand. It only hurt for a minute and no real damage was done. Most importantly, I saved the milk!
Today I had the biggest spill ever (12 ounces!), and I was determined not to waste it. I had already used milk from this bag once, but it was still mostly frozen. I needed to thaw it quickly and had a pot of scalding hot water ready. I remembered there was a hole in the bottom of the bag (which happens surprisingly often) and needed to put it in upside down. What I didn't remember was I had already started to open the bag and did not fully close it. I remembered this important bit of information just as I started turned the bag upside down, but it was too late. The entire block of icy milk fell into the scorching hot water.
I gasped. I was faced with a decision - to burn my hand or not to burn my hand. I knew I had to act quickly before it all melted into the water. I tossed it over in my mind a dozen times in a matter of seconds - do I save it or accept defeat...NEVER! In my head I chanted, "It will only hurt for a second. I will only hurt for a second. Just do it. Do it. DO IT!" I took a deep breath and dove my hand into the water, grabbed the block of milk as quickly as possible and dropped it into a bowl.
As soon as I dropped the milk into the bowl I ran cold water over my hand. It only hurt for a minute and no real damage was done. Most importantly, I saved the milk!
Saturday, May 28, 2011
An Answered Prayer
A prayer was answered tonight, and I am once again amazed at the generosity of donating families. Last week, one of our regular donors informed me that she would not be able to donate to us any more. The selfishness inside me hopes this is temporary, as she has been one of our most productive and loved donors. However, I understand life happens and I most definitely understand a Mama's got to do what a Mama's got to do to take care of her family.
Over the past week, I have searched for new donors through the regular milk-sharing site that I use. There have been several times over the past 4 1/2 months when I didn't know when or where the milk would be coming from next. Somehow it had worked out every time, so I trusted it would work out this time as well.
Backing up another 2 weeks - A friend of a friend was past her due date and getting discouraged. She planned a homebirth, but with Florida laws being so restrictive about going "past due," it can be a very stressful time for expecting mothers who are 10 month mamas. My friend knows I tend to go 42+ weeks, so she asked me to send an encouraging message to this mom. My heart and soul are deeply rooted to homebirth, so I sent this mom a message in an effort to give her hope and confidence in the last few days of her pregnancy. I never heard back from her (I took it to be a good sign, that perhaps she had gone into labor and was enjoying her baby). A week after sending the message she had her baby at home...my heart is smiling just thinking of it.
Being 2 weeks since I sent the message and knowing that she had her baby, I forgot that I included my phone number in that message...until today, when I received a text message saying, "Nancy? You sent me a message about being a 10 month mama." She went on to say she was touched by our story (told by our mutual friend) and wanted to donate milk to us! She already sent some with our mutual friend and we talked about arranging future donations.
I am overwhelmed with joy. Over the past 4 1/2 months I have had more tears of joy than any other time in my 27 years on this earth. To not only witness but to be part of such an extraordinary group of families coming together to feed human milk to human babies (MY baby, at that!) makes my heart feel bigger. It has given me a joy I never knew existed. I believe all of this to be part of a much bigger plan, one that I only have glimpse of so far.
Over the past week, I have searched for new donors through the regular milk-sharing site that I use. There have been several times over the past 4 1/2 months when I didn't know when or where the milk would be coming from next. Somehow it had worked out every time, so I trusted it would work out this time as well.
Backing up another 2 weeks - A friend of a friend was past her due date and getting discouraged. She planned a homebirth, but with Florida laws being so restrictive about going "past due," it can be a very stressful time for expecting mothers who are 10 month mamas. My friend knows I tend to go 42+ weeks, so she asked me to send an encouraging message to this mom. My heart and soul are deeply rooted to homebirth, so I sent this mom a message in an effort to give her hope and confidence in the last few days of her pregnancy. I never heard back from her (I took it to be a good sign, that perhaps she had gone into labor and was enjoying her baby). A week after sending the message she had her baby at home...my heart is smiling just thinking of it.
Being 2 weeks since I sent the message and knowing that she had her baby, I forgot that I included my phone number in that message...until today, when I received a text message saying, "Nancy? You sent me a message about being a 10 month mama." She went on to say she was touched by our story (told by our mutual friend) and wanted to donate milk to us! She already sent some with our mutual friend and we talked about arranging future donations.
I am overwhelmed with joy. Over the past 4 1/2 months I have had more tears of joy than any other time in my 27 years on this earth. To not only witness but to be part of such an extraordinary group of families coming together to feed human milk to human babies (MY baby, at that!) makes my heart feel bigger. It has given me a joy I never knew existed. I believe all of this to be part of a much bigger plan, one that I only have glimpse of so far.
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